The Right Dishonourable

Douglas Carswell, Ukip’s sole MP, has put together a spoof social media guide for Labour in the wake of bad online discipline following the election of Jeremy Corbyn as the party’s leader.

The advice from the Kipper comes after Labour’s National Executive Committee condemned the “very damaging way in which social media is being used” by the party. It reads as follows:

1. Do remember that in the new politics the party whips are much more relaxed – so always tweet on message
2. Don’t be disrespectful to others – unless you’re referring to Simon Danczuk or Tristram or Blair. Or anyone not in Momentum.
3. Don’t use hate speech – unless you’re talking about #Toryscum. Remember someone need not be a Tory to be #ToryScum
4. Do broadcast your support for foreign terrorist groups – especially if you’re a party spin doctor
5. Do express your opposition to evil multinationals using an Apple, Samsung, or Sony device, and where possible free Wifi provided by Starbucks
6. Do use Facebook to complain about how Facebook doesn’t pay enough tax
7. Should you lose a debate or election among real voters, do retreat into your Twitter timeline to have your prejudices reinforced.
8. Jeremy Corbyn is the New Politics – so do not disagree
9. Don’t forget that in the new politics likes are more important than votes
10. Use a hashtag to signal your virtue and differentiate you from #ToryScum

Image Credit – Douglas Carswell, May 2009 by Steve Punter